i’ll stop writing about you one day

I’ll stop writing about you one day.
I will drain all the pain
and longing
and love
from this heart and brain and
I’ll just stop writing about you one day.

I will write the last words
And I won’t even know
That the tear-filled poem I wrote one night
Would be the last that the world will hear
About you from my bloody pen.

I will write about you for the last time,
But you will not read about you for the last time
Because I poured everything into
Those words that I let go.
But you will cling into it
Because you’ll realize that love
Memorialized by words
Is love either living or lost



today was dark and rainy

I woke up drenched in sweat
With the sun glaring at my face
But even before the night came for me,
My day got dark and rainy.

I heard the thunder rolled for me,
It sounds pretty much like your voice.
And even before the first roll ended,
My day was dark and rainy.

I guess you were yelling hard at me
And poured me with blood-stained words
But all I heard was, “YOU PAINED ME!”
My day was dark and rainy.

I started yelling, tried fighting back,
But I was drenched in blood and rain
And all I could mutter was “I’m tired, I’m sorry.”
My day was dark and rainy.

You tried to halt when you saw me shiver,
Covered me with your rain-soaked blanket
But, love, I was ‘lready soaked to my bones,
My day was dark and rainy.

With quivering lips, I told you I’m hurting
And I was too sick, all I heard’s “You caused it!”
I stopped you with icy hands, whispered, “I’m sorry.”
My day was dark and rainy.


Birthday Wish

I wish you’d wake me up soon
And cradle me on your arms
As I weep and weep
And you’d calm me down
And tell me that the nightmare’s over,
And that you’re here,
And that all’s just a bad dream,
And that you’ll never leave



today’s dose of truth

I’d like to think that
I know you enough to know
That one day, you’ll realize how,
Deep in your soul, you know
I’m the only one you’ll love and
You’ll choose to choose me everyday
And you’ll come running back
Like a boy desperate to be home.

But that’s the thing:
I know you enough —
Way too well — to know
That each day, you realize how
Deep in your heart, you know
You made the right choice
For each day you spent with me,
You were no longer happy,
And you had to run away
Like a boy desperate to find his home.

– H


in my heart

In my heart,
I miss
the person you used to be
and the way I used to feel

But in my heart,
I know
that all’s at the very bottom
of the vast, vast ocean

And in my heart,
I decided
that there’s no way I’ll drown
to bring any of it back again.


Unbroken heart

You didn’t break my heart,
but you lifted it so high
that the rest of the world
didn’t seem to matter anymore.

You didn’t break my heart,
but you drowned it long enough
for it to start pumping,
not blood, but salty fluid.

You didn’t break my heart,
but you froze it until
it’s too cold
to feel anything anymore

You didn’t break my heart,
but you plunged poisoned ice pick
into it and made the death
certain, but not immediate.

You didn’t break my heart,
but you held it so tight
that you ruined it
without breaking it.

You didn’t break my heart,
for life can do the breaking.
All you had to do
was leave.


Anxious, because


Because I feel like I am about to do something good,

something different,

something right… again.


Because I’ve been here before —

Felt like a bird finally feeling

the strong wind that would carry me home.


Because I felt it many times,

Trusted and followed the wind,

But ended up falling just the same.


Because the strong wind feels good again

And nothing good lasts for a long time

And would just wound my wings again.


Because I’ve been here before,

And all that didn’t kill me

Just left me in greater pain that before.


Because nothing makes me stronger.

Not the pain, not the failure,

Not the hard lesson learned.


Because I’m tired of feeling strong,

Flying just to end up hitting the bottom

As if my wings were never mine to begin with.