I am no expert in love.
In fact, I’m particularly clumsy when it comes to it. I slip, I stumble, I fall — hard. I am easily fooled by love, easily blinded by it. That’s why my brain kept doubting my heart over and over again when it started beating differently for this person.
It wasn’t just the fact that it beats loudly and arrhythmically. It’s more than just the warm-cold element rushing through your veins every time he stares at you. It is not the type that blocks all your reasons off your brain and makes you jump off the cliff.
No. It was different.
In fact, in contrary, I saw all the reasons, the good and the bad, the awkwardness of it all, the risks. I heard everyone’s voices, the doubts and the hopes. I felt it all, saw it all. It made me think within the parameters of reality, and that’s what made it different.
I saw the cliff, looked at it from all angles, measured its height and width, asked for opinions, felt the wind, felt the excitement, felt the danger, felt conscious of it all. And when I knew that it’s time, I jumped. I yelled, “FUCK IT!” and jumped. Deliberately, I took the leap because right there, right at the ground, right at the bottom of the bottomless pit, he firmly stood — patiently waiting for me to fall.
I’m not very sure, but I think you’ll know love when you see one. Wouldn’t you hear it in their voices, or see it in the twinkle in their eyes? Wouldn’t they make your name sound like the most beautifully crafted word in the whole world? Wouldn’t their smiles make you wonder how you survived all those years without them? Wouldn’t their arms make you weaker and stronger at the same time? Wouldn’t love make you so full of emotions that you can’t help but write songs and poems about it?
I am no expert in love, but here’s what I know…
Before, it had always been, “Here’s the guy I want!” But this time I though, “Here’s a man I could follow!”
(Shannon, Boy Meets Girl)